Your name is Dave Strider and lately your life has become a little more fucked up. Okay so you managed to beat that super shitty game with your friends. All of you somehow made it out alive and everything. But then, as you and everyone else, even the trolls, were finally trying to relax after saving the world the government had to get invovled. ‘Cause you see when you were all transported back to your reborn earth, the meteors were still an imminent threat. And since you all still had your godly powers you decided ‘why the fuck not’ and diverted or destroyed them. Easy peasy everyone gets to go home, right? Wrong. ‘Cause see the US military, they don’t get that some things shouldn’t be fucked with. So they managed to coerce all of you into coming to some stupid base in Washington. (Which was kinda great since you got to see Egbert’s house and his apparently super lame dad. You thought he was alright though.)
You manage to get there in one piece, full to bursting on cake from the Egbert house and they toss you into separate rooms and start grilling you about your powers. Now, you’d seen this shit before. In movies and junk. So you knew not to say shit. but you do cooperate enough so that they don’t threaten your friends. And so that Bro doesn’t show up and wreck everyones shit. Now you give Lalonde some serious shit about being a flighty broad but you know she’s freaking smart so you weren’t surprised to hear that she gave everyone the run around and then did some seer shit and creeped them the fuck out. They’re still freaking out about it too. Egbert, he’d seen the same movies as you so he gave them the run around too. Well as best someone can who isn’t a Lalonde. And they just kind of gave up on him for a while. Least until he derped and used his windy powers in the hallway to keep himself from faceplanting in the hallway. Luckily they just questioned him more, no crazy ass experiments. Yet.
But then Jade. Jade motherfucking Harley. This girl threw the biggest fucking fit when they wouldn’t let her go home. And somehow these fucked managed to contain her. how they found a container big enough and strong enough to hold Jade Harley you’ll never know. For the first few days she just enlarged and shrank it to ridiculous sizes to spite them. Then one day she was gone. Vanished. Turns out she’d shrunk so small that no one could see her and then tried to sneak out. They caught her though. And you haven’t seen her since. You really hope she’s okay. You really do. Because something tells you that things are about to go south in a bad way real soon. And you hope beyond hope that you’re wrong.